Wellington Burks Caldwell had the distinction of having three last names. He often wondered why his parents couldn’t have given him a proper first name like John or Billy or Sam or really anything other than Wellington.

Then again it could have been much worse. His mother loved history especially the Napoleonic Wars. As he grew older he learned that his parents had discussed Wellesley as his first name to remove any doubt that he was being named after Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington, the victorious General at Waterloo. He often wondered why his parents couldn’t have picked Arthur. It would have been a proper first name. But perhaps it would have denied his mother a chance to discuss her favorite subject.

“What is your son’s name?”

“Wellington.”

“Is that a family name?”

And just like that a perfect opportunity to discuss the Battle of Vitoria had been created. If young Wellington was at the park, the library or even grocery shopping with his mom and someone inquired about his name, he knew a history lesson was about to begin.

Doomed to suffer from a last name as a first name there was still hope that his parents could have picked a sensible middle name. No such luck. His dad was an avid sports fan and somehow decided that Ellis Burks was his favorite athlete of all time and that is how Wellington became Wellington Burks.

There were hundreds of athletes to choose from and he got stuck with Burks. Michael Jordan would have been a good pick. His middle name could have been Michael or Jordan and he would have escaped the misfortune of having three last names. Or how about Tommy John or Chris Paul? Oh the possibilities. But no he was doomed to be saddled with the middle name of Burks.

If he tried to broach the subject with his parents they only told him it could have been worse. What if they named him after Tony Gwynn or Madison Bumgarner. Wellington Gwynn Caldwell or Wellington Madison Caldwell both had a nice ring to them, his parents would remind him. So in the grand scheme of things worse names did exist.

His friends had often joked that he was named after a law firm or accounting agency. Wellington had grown accustomed to the typical jokes that accompanied introductions and he shrugged them off. He had adopted the name of Wells. So most people simply knew him as Wells Caldwell, which introduced a new set of snide remarks and jokes.

As a boy with three last names it was clearly fate that led him to fall in love with a girl with three first names. Sarah Jane Ashley captured his heart when they shared an ice cream sandwich after school in the seventh grade. For the next two years they were constant companions and then the unspeakable happened. Just before the end of ninth grade Sarah Jane Ashley moved to South Korea and left Wellington Burks Caldwell broken hearted.

In his despair he taught himself how to speak Korean, so that he could one day walk the streets of Seoul asking everyone if they had seen the blonde haired, blue eyed Sarah Jane Ashley who stole his heart and still had it. In the endeavor he had learned that he had an aptitude for languages and soon taught himself Arabic, Russian, Hindi, Spanish, and Sanskrit. Where ever in the world his Sarah Jane Ashley was dragged by her malicious father Wellington Burks Caldwell would find her.

As he aged he realized that her dad had not moved to destroy any opportunity of young love prospering but that as a military contractor his company had offered him an opportunity that he couldn’t turn down. Still for years Mr. Ashley had been as despised as some of the worst villains in history. Mao, Stalin, and Pol Pot had nothing on the evil Mr. Ashley who intentionally killed love by moving his family far away.

After graduating High School Wellington took a summer job teaching English in South Korea. He did not find Sarah Jane Ashley while he was there. With all hopes of ever finding her again dashed Wellington returned to the United States and attended Stanford University. He graduated with honors and a world of opportunities awaited him.

With a Master’s international relations and his language abilities his goal was to see the world. His mentor Gerald Tremble steered him into government contracting and got him a job as a CIA contractor. He spent two years learning military intelligence and another year in spy craft and combat training. He spent time in Iraq, Afghanistan, and nearly got killed smuggling a defector out of Syria.

Most importantly he never went by Wellington Burks Caldwell anymore. He was either known by his call signal or he had no name. After six years overseas and nine years on the job Tremble brought Wellington back to the United States.

“Kid, I got a new opportunity for you. But you are going to hate it.” Tremble said

“Then why are we talking.”

“Because you love me and you want to make me proud.”

“I only love your money and the danger.”

“Yep you are going to hate it.”

“Tell me so I can be the judge.”

“I am sending you to Athens.”

“I haven’t been to Greece yet, so even if the assignment is dull it is Greece.”

Tremble was shaking his head. “No, not Athens, Greece. Athens, Ohio.”

Caldwell chuckled. “Good joke. Is that even a place?”

“Small town. Six months and then I promise you will be presented with an opportunity that will blow your mind.”

“You want to send me to some sleepy town. What are there some home grown terrorists there?”

“No.”

“A foreign sleeper cell?”

“No.”

“Then what.”

“A research assignment.”

“Paperwork? Are you benching me?”

“No, this is just a quick cool off. After Syria you need to decompress before your next mission.”

“I am in my prime I don’t need a break.”

“Then prove you are a team player.”

“What’s the salary?”

“250k.”

“For 6 months?”

“You have earned it from your previous work.”

“The next assignment better be good.”

“It will be.”

As Wellington Burks Caldwell was bored out of his mind counting down the days until he would be overseas again fate intervened once more. Caldwell decided to go grocery shopping. He always ate out, but after two months in Athens he decided to take up cooking. As he was reading labels in the international section of the store he heard something that he would recognize anywhere and something that he never thought he would have to hear again.

“It’s Burks, and he takes outside ball one. He has walked, he has singled, and he has lined out. He comes the pitch. Swung on and a high fly ball. Deep into centerfield. Back goes the centerfielder Jones. At the wall, number 40! Home run number 40 for Ellis Burks.”

Caldwell knew whoever was playing that audio was doing it because he was standing in this store. He braced himself for the bullet that would end his life as he turned around to face his executioner. Instead of a bullet he was saw a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Sarah Jane Ashley stood smiling.

“I thought that was you. Do you still hate that home run call as much as you used to.” She asked.

Wellington Burks Caldwell was left speechless for the first time in over a decade.

“Well aren’t you going to say hello?” Ashley prodded.

“Sarah, is that you?”

“Hey, full names only or no names at all.”

“You still remember that Sarah Jane Ashley?”

“Of course I do Wellington Burks Caldwell.”

“Ok, ok, ok, no names, but what are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“Why?” Caldwell blurted out bluntly.

“Ok I see you are not a fan of my town. I teach at the University.”

“Oh, sorry if that sounded rude.”

“It did. And I may or may not accept your apology.”

“I missed you for a long time. I never thought we would see each other again.”

“Oh wow, going straight to it. Pretty deep conversation for a grocery store. I think you should ask me out to dinner. That is if our restaurants are not too far beneath you.”

“But what would your husband say?”

“He would relish in a good scandal. It could be the talk of the town for the next year. Well that is if I had a husband. Still single.”

“How is that possible?”

“I guess I have been shopping in all the wrong aisles.”

“Who sent you here?” Caldwell said suspiciously.

“What are you talking about?” Ashley said clearly taken aback.

“It is too convenient. It doesn’t track.”

“You have grown paranoid in your old age.”

“Occupational hazard. But you already know that don’t you.”

“How dare you! I don’t know who you have become but I will not stand for baseless accusations.”

Wellington Burks Caldwell stood shocked as Sarah Jane Ashley turned and walked away. His mind was racing. Was he really that paranoid? Was he really going to let her walk out of his life again? If she had nefarious intentions he would rather her be the one to kill him than someone else. As she was about to turn and exit the aisle Caldwell spoke.

“Sarah Jane Ashley wait. I’m sorry. Someone almost killed me a few months ago and I guess I am still on edge. I would love to have dinner with you tonight.”

“You had best be on better behavior than this or else I am gone.”

For the next three months Wellington Burks Caldwell and Sarah Jane Ashley spent as much time as possible together. With less than 2 weeks left on his assignment he bought a wedding ring.

The next night they were sitting on his couch watching a movie when there was a knock at the door.

“Probably the Girl Scouts trying to sell more cookies” Caldwell said as he paused the movie and stood up.

“If so buy me something minty.”

“Of course.”

Caldwell opened the door and saw Tremble standing there. Before he could say a word Tremble walked in.

“Who is this?” Ashley asked.

“My boss.”

Ashley stood up to go and greet him, but he raised his hand and motioned for her to stop.

“Is it true?” Tremble asked.

“What?”

Looking at both of them Tremble said “ You know what I am talking about.”

Caldwell nodded.

Ashley spoke. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Tremble spoke first. “You will soon.”

“Sarah Jane Ashley meet my boss Mr. Tremble.”

“No wonder you were so paranoid when we meet at the grocery store.” Ashley coolly said.

“I won’t take much of your time.” Standing between Wellington Burks Caldwell and Sarah Jane Ashley, Tremble said it’s either her or me.”

“That’s not fair.” Caldwell shot back.

“It’s the nature of the game. I need you undercover in Tajikistan embedded with a Chechen drug lord. For at least a year. Maybe longer if you don’t get killed first.”

“Why are you doing this now?”

“I had to see you both in person. I am sure you wondered why Athens was picked for your location. Your work could have been done anywhere. I chose here because she was here. I needed to see if you were clear of all distractions before hunting our white whale.”

“I knew it wasn’t just chance when we met in the grocery store.” Caldwell said to Ashley.

“She had no knowledge. If you hadn’t met organically I would have orchestrated a meeting. Now I need an answer.”

“I am sorry Sarah Jane Ashley. I didn’t want to do this, this way.”

“There is no way you are choosing him over me!” She said in disbelief as Caldwell walked over to his desk.

“I hope you will understand I wanted things to go differently,” he said as he walked towards her.

She had started to reach for her purse and hold back the tears until she left when Caldwell dropped to one knee.

“Sarah Jane Ashley will you marry me?” He said as he handed her the ring.

“You jerk!” She squealed

“Payback for the Burks home run call in the grocery store. You know I hate that. So will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes. I will marry you. But you owe me a real proposal later.”

Turning to Tremble Caldwell said. “Wellington Burks Caldwell and Sarah Jane Ashley were fated to be together. No white whales will come between us. I choose her.”

“Congratulations! You made the right choice.” Tremble said as he walked out of the apartment.